At the Trail of Turds Coffee Shop

Once again, truth is stranger than fiction. I don't think Tucker knew how bizarre things can get working at an espresso shop, but he may now be more seriously considering that teaching certificate he's been putting off. Maybe better to use that math degree than deal with the fringe element of caffeine junkies.

Tucker thought it was a bit odd—and disgusting, too—when a customer vomited on one of the tables. Although bartenders and school-bus drivers sometimes have to deal with that sort of thing, cleaning up vomit is a rarer event in an espresso shop. But sometimes there are other kinds of messes to clean up, too. Had he been thinking clearly, Tucker might have taken the customer's question as a signal to walk out the back door and never look back. "Was there a dog in here?" should have been taken as an omen, and maybe next time he'll know better. The question, combined with an odor that smelled nothing like coffee was due, as it turned out, to a trail of turds from the restroom all the way to the front door of the shop. There hadn't been any dogs in the shop. There had, however, been a noticeably odd man using the restroom.

I'll leave it to your imagination to sort out the details required to make such a situation possible. Whether this event was the result of accident or deliberation is unknown, but either way the result was the same from Tucker's point of view. Most espresso shops are ill-equipped to deal with this sort of situation; a pooper scooper probably isn't an item one would expect to find among the tools of this particular trade.

Anyway, I think there's a lesson here for us all, and a warning. If you walk into a coffee shop and wonder who let the dogs in, it's possible you've just blundered into the Trail of Turds Coffee Shop. Be afraid, leave quickly, and above all, don't ask to use the restroom.