Fun with DNA

Why suffer with boring DNA?If you're bored with life and ready for a change, help may be closer than you think. It seems a team of scientists have performed the world's first genome transplant, which means that one of these days you, too, will be able to shapeshift in the privacy of your own home. One minute you're some guy named Bob, and the next, you're a quasihuman creature terrorizing the neighborhood, because that's just what synthetic lifeforms do.

Scientists have converted an organism into an entirely different species by performing the world's first genome transplant, a breakthrough that paves the way for the creation of synthetic forms of life.

Of course, the means to accomplish this sort of magical transformation isn't yet available in stores, but you can still mess around with your DNA while you're waiting. A professor of molecular biology and biotechnology at Sheffield University recently discovered that sodium benzoate—a chemical used in an astonishing variety of edible products—is capable of deactivating one's DNA.

He told The Independent on Sunday: "These chemicals have the ability to cause severe damage to DNA in the mitochondria to the point that they totally inactivate it: they knock it out altogether.

I don't know about you, but I'm going to jumpstart my weekend right now, and have some fun with my own DNA. All I really have to do is eat and drink, and the chemicals do the rest. What could be easier?



  1. Anonymous5:01 AM UTC

    I knew preservatives were bad for you, but the very name is a contradiction, isn't it? A "preservative" that can shut down your body and make you age.

  2. Anonymous5:38 AM UTC

    Yeah, maybe a better name would be "embalmative."

  3. Anonymous3:48 AM UTC

    We might as well throw MSG into the fray. Invented by the Japanese in 1907, many remain convinced of its woeful evil. And practically no food products in packages come without it.
    Glutamate is a neurotransmitter. Monosodium glutamate in our food places this form of the neurotransmitter system-wide, exciting every nerve it touches.
    Can you feel it?
    Demons all though your body!

    But you gotta eat it first.

  4. Anonymous4:51 AM UTC

    Well, I do feel *something* now that you mention it. I figured it was just gas, but demons are certainly a possibility.