I think I might be alienated. I don't mean just different, or even utterly separate from humankind in general. I mean it in the more literal sense of being permeated with DNA that isn't like my neighbor's DNA. I haven't been blessed with a full-scale DNA analysis lately, but that doesn't mean there's no evidence to support my conviction that I'm not really human.
One example is the way I interact with my food. When I feed, I don't just pack groceries in my cheeks the way ordinary humans do. Rather, I sense my lunch is being integrated with the very essence of me; I feel my food and I are becoming one. I don't think most people feel this way, unless they're aliens.
Another reason I don't think I'm human is my sense of humor. When someone tells me a funny joke, I don't laugh. Instead, I immediately begin telling a similar joke, except I begin with the punch line. I don't like waiting until the end to say it, because to an alien, that would be stupid.
If you've ever watched aliens for a while, you know they don't like hugging each other. They like to hug themselves, which is exactly how I feel when my arms are hugging my shoulders. I'm pretty sure humans don't feel that way about hugs, because if they did, they'd probably be aliens.
Glad to see the experiment with human lifeforms hasn't distorted your alien DNA. Phone home...
ReplyDeleteRoger wilco.
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