The Little Big Bang

My own personal mockup of the Large Hadron Collider, with which I hope to create my own universe, and popcorn. As we approach next month's final countdown at CERN's Large Hadron Collider (LHC) near Geneva, this may be a good time to reflect on the scientific accomplishments of the human race. I say this because if the experiment goes terribly wrong, we may not be in a position to reflect on much of anything. This isn't to say we won't be reflective, but it may be in much the same way a chunk of molten glass is reflective, which isn't quite the same thing. The aim of this grand experiment is to smash protonsmoving at only a hair or two under the speed of lightinto each other so as to recreate conditions a split second after the big bang. This will be done in a large circular underground tunnel, because if there's one thing you want when creating the little big bang, it's privacy.

Assuming they don't accidentally create a black hole during the course of their experiment, the scientists will have petabytes of data to sift through, which means they'll need plenty of snacks while they're staring at their computer screens. As you might imagine, a device of this caliber doesn't take all day to produce large quantities of delicious popcorn, so it isn't like the LHC will be idle when the experiment is done. As any scientist will tell you, funding isn't always easy to come by, so it's fortunate that most people love popcorn.

According to a Wikipedia article on the subject, the LHC may produce the rather bashful entity known as the Higgs boson. It may also produce strangelets, micro black holes, magnetic monopoles and supersymmetric particles, although pseudosymmetric slices of cheese pizza certainly aren't out of the question, and would be welcome.

Although some believe this experiment will result in the end of life as we know it, the folks at Universe Today believe otherwise, and aren't afraid to say so.

Question: Will the Large Hadron Collider Destroy the Earth?

Answer: No.

There are, of course, worse things than the utter annihilation of the planet. Rebel hordes from the wrong side of our galaxy, streaming through the newly created tear in the space-time continuum could be worse. And how much popcorn is too much?



  1. Anonymous12:20 AM UTC

    Overview: The scientific community is uncertain, Stephen Hawking is uncertain, the mathematicians are uncertain, then so I am uncertain as well! Research is necessary for an understanding of the risk potentials v/s the unimaginable positive outgrowth potentials, and assess the two, then exercise our right of opinion publicly! Not to wag our tongues without learning first! Thou shalt not attack the comments of others, without attacking yourself first!

  2. Anonymous1:14 AM UTC

    FEAR, FEAR, FEAR! Its people like YOU who impede the progress of science! Moron.

  3. Stop it! Stop it, both of you!! I AM NOT YOUR VIPPING BOY!!!!!!!

  4. Anonymous4:11 AM UTC

    OVERVIEW CONTINUED: Let's see; CERN LHC has two 7 TeV proton beams, opposing each other in a head-on 14 TeV collision impact, and a decade of already pre-planned precision energy upgrades (2009-2019). They plan to first test with lower energy-packet pulses (safety tests), at 2008 levels, and then increase the collisions per/second, per 'impact moment'. They then plan, once financed in 2009, not only to go to full-power, but engage ALICE & ATLAS colliding other typer of particles, such as the heavy lead(Pb) ions. These create hyper-density plasma, and increase the risk of unknown outcomes! The concerns range from (MBH) Blackholes, Strangelet Transitions, Expanded Quantum Wormholes, and Time-Distortions, not to mention complete Protonic Reversal. Even to this minute, the scientists are not sure of the outcome potentials. Stephen Hawking is unsure about 'Hawking Radiation' and it's dissipation affect on (MBH) Blackholes. The physicists are further uncertain about the complete design of the 'Standard Model', and that's what the entire project is based upon, theoretical mathematics (guessing)! The underlying search, that is driving the entire project-set, are the secrets to: Nuclear Fusion, Plasma Fusion, Higgs Particle, Supersymmetry Particles, Multi-Dimensions (Parallel Universes/Multiverse), Time (Understanding and Control), and Completion of the 'Standard Model' (The Holy Physics Grail), within Superstring Unified Field Theory! These discoveries are intended to be applied to all branches of science, technology, communications, and the Human Dream! Three prime examples: #1). Astrophysics: to answer the Accelerating Universe questions! #2). Nuclear Fusion: a controllable, and sustainable 'fusion process' to meet our future world, desperate energy needs! #3). The GRID: fiber-optic (light) generated information, traveling anywhere at the speed of light! Despite the LSAG 'safety report' being expedited for public consumption, and riddled with inconsistencies, it is conceivable that these project discoveries, could open the doors to Interstellar Space-Flight, and oh yes, Time-Travel! In this comment, I am neither for, nor against; however, these are some of the general facts, and nothing more!

  5. My favorite part: "because if there's one thing you want when creating the little big bang, it's privacy." :-)