How Was Your Weekend?

Can you spot me in this weekend picture? If your weekend was nothing like mine, you spent it thinking about all those little tasks and errands you put off during the past week, month, and year. Then you fell asleep with your mouth open, angering your spouse and inviting a throat infection.

If your weekend was anything like mine, you spent it in the branches of a nearby tree, attempting to apply deodorant to the wingpits of the many delinquent hatchlings with no sense of personal hygiene. Then you fell out of the tree, angering the local authorities with your incessant emergencies and inviting retaliation from their spouses.

If your weekend was nothing like mine, you spent it driving aimlessly until the gas tank went dry, forcing a similarly aimless hike into a blind alley in the restaurant district south of town. There, you were accosted by thugs and left for dead in a dumpsterful of rancid leftovers from last week's Squid Festival.

If your weekend was anything like the one coming up near the end of this week, you know exactly how it's going to go already. If you're such a psychic, why not just tell me about it right now, huh?



  1. If your next weekend turns out anything like mine will, it'll be one of kindled passions, candlelit dinners, a sense of breakthrough, risque encounters, colorful water pageants, smudging rituals, pre-leftover Halloween candy, and a good cry.

  2. I'm psychotic! I-I-I m-mean . . . psychic. . .

    My weekend will be with me sitting around at home and listening to music, maybe reading too. I might sing a bit with Dad and I'll probably hang out with Sam. Then at the end of the weekend, I'll be with you and Mamma and Styx.

    Can't wait, lots of love! Mandy.

  3. Sounds like a mixed bag, what with the pre-leftover Halloween candy, the good cry, and the psychotic singing. Thanks to you both for the heads-up, and I'm very, very frightened now.