Howlin at the Moo

As a literary device, omitting portions of a word—the portion at the end in particular—is often used to denote rough language. This is generally implemented on the written page by an apostrophe in place of one or more missing letters in a word. Used to great effect when, for example, the writer wishes to give a colorful, rough-hewn character an air of gritty nonchalance and missing teeth, the practice is nevertheless tiring, and mundane.

For this reason, I'm starting a Movement to discourage it. Those who insist on seeing an apostrophe where letters used to be are welcome to do their own typing, but I think dialogue is every bit as readable, meaningful, and enjoyable without the blasted thing. In fact, as you can see from the example that follows, there's no good reason for the last letter in any word spoken by a colorful, rough-hewn character.

"I say, sir. Have you any sweet, hot mustard?"

"Wha? Ho do relis?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Yo wan ho do relis fo yo ho do?"

"Egad! What has happened to your teeth?"

"Wha? Ain nothin wron wit m teet."

"No, not teat. Teeth! Teeth!"

"Ain dea. Kno wha yo sai th firs tim."

"Tim? The name is Keith!"

"Bo. Gla t kno yo."

"What?"

Obviously, dialogue like this is more authentic—and much easier to follow—without all those infernal punctuation marks cluttering things up.