Prefabricated Dream Saints

Saint Egolatría doesn't like you. It certainly isn't the first time I've been inspired by Craig Conley's unparalleled handiwork, but I don't recall ever having been inspired in such parallel fashion. Imaginary saints are one thing; strange dreams make it two.

Last night I dreamt about Saint Egolatría, patron of poorly planned head trips. In my dream, she held the map I had so carelessly left on my dresser while she chided me for being self-absorbed, and arrogant. She said my deeply flawed personality was at the root of many fiascos, and hoped I might get lost in a bad neighborhood, after dark, with an empty gas tank and no cell phone.

The night before, a series of dreams culminated in a pastiche of patrons, each wearing a color-coded robe to indicate his or her mood. Saint Añoranza seemed petulant at first, but this later turned out to be due to a wardrobe malfunction. For their grand finale, all the patron saints locked arms for a rousing rendition of Hey Bulldog.

Three encores later, a bikini-clad penguin brought the curtain down.



  1. I wonder how long the phrase "wardrobe malfunction" will be hilarious. So far, it hasn't lost a single glint of its comedic sparkle.

    I have a picture of "unparalleled handiwork," which I'll e-mail you.

    Fun dreams! Thanks for sharing, and leapfrog inspiration is such a fun game!

  2. I'm not making any predictions, but I wouldn't be surprised if that phrase remained in the collective comedic consciousness for years to come. Well, maybe surprised, but not, you know, that surprised.

    Got the handiwork. Thanks! Perfect!

    Long live the leapfrog.