To be truly stealthy, Grasshopper, you must learn to hide in plain sight. This will allow you to come and go as you please, unnoticed, for the surest way to attract the attention of others is an oversized head and small eyes. The rectangular nail is pounded down first, and roundish pegs have no place in a squarish society. See to it, therefore, that your cuticles are properly maintained, and keep your pegboard firmly askance, for the sideways glance falls primarily on the upright.
Do not be concerned, Grasshopper, about the color of your moustache. Pink is a powerful color among colors, and highly preferred wherever pinches tiranos, pinches tiranitos, repinches tiranitos and pinches tiranitos chiquititos issue fiats that torment the children of lesser gods. Their progeny, too, will agree that nothing says Excuse Me like the taste of pale ale from a barrel of monkeys, aged to perfection in the labyrinths and lairs below the belt of Orion, where it really hurts.
Avoid the temptation of invisibility, Grasshopper, for the ghosts of futures past reveal themselves to those who sleep, mothlike, beneath the wings of dreams. Snore loudly and with gusto, but do not hide behind the handkerchief of society, for it has been used by nostrils and rogues.
"Do not hide behind the handkerchief of society" is a "dandy" piece of advice!
ReplyDelete"Below the belt of Orion, where it really hurts" -- very good!
Marvelous final word to this piece, by the way!
Thank you. Thank you very much.
ReplyDeleteeverything you say is true and relevant, for the portebello is round and the aliens are sneaking in under cover of the aurora,that's what i was told at the car wash.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand. Portebellum aliens wear sneakers only with jeans, and the negative charge that's shunted to ground thru the water leaves them wet behind the ears . . . if they had ears . . . but they don't . . . do they?
ReplyDeletei don't know the specifics, i only report the facts as presented. But i understand they sometimes have ear implants. Also, nostril is a funny word.
ReplyDeleteI agree. Nostril. Nostril. Nosssss . . . TRIL! Hahahahahaha!
ReplyDelete