The lunatic moon. If your work schedule forces you to sleep during daylight hours, the idea of sunscreen may seem, at first, to be little more than lumpy humbug. At second glance the preposterous concept shrivels even more, leaving a pile of desiccated ointment that, judiciously applied, is virtually guaranteed to leave your skin exposed to the harmful rays of the moon.

Unlike solar flares, the sonic tendrils issuing from the moon's internal organs can be heard, but not seen. For this reason, the value of subsonic filtering cannot be understated, overstated, or indeed stated from any angle that isn't divisible by zero. As any organist will tell you, the devil is in the last octave.

Though lunar flares are suspected in a variety of hearing disorders, suspicion isn't proof, and proof isn't always in the pudding we rely on to maintain youthful-looking skin. In a similar way, avoiding ear contact with the aural borealis is still the best defense against moon-induced tympanic attack.


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