The Muttering of Pigeons

You may have heard it said that there's no fool like an old fool, which is really nothing but a play on words designed to torment those of us who know a thing or two about progressive hearing loss. To my ear, the phrase sounds like the muttering of pigeons, or the secretive undertones created by the shifting of tectonic plates. To my other ear, it has more in common with the coded signals used by agents of foreign governments when they don't want me to know what they're doing. But I do know, and the message is always the same: Deh Oh Foo Ike Uh Oh Foo.

The first time I heard those words, I was left with a sense of déjà vu similar to what I experience every day when Jack wishes me a good morning, which to me sounds more like "groo roo," but not everyone understands Jack the way I do. I believe this understanding is the result of countless hours spent peering into Jack's mouth, searching for consonants, but only a new fool would hear everything he believes.

Speaking as an Akita, Jack simply prefers the direct approach to the roundabout, leaving it to other breeds to mince words. Having taken the time to look an Akita in the mouth, I'm left with the overwhelming conviction that brevity is in the ear of the beholder, and never the other way around.