The Gumline of Sustainable Agriculture

Eh bwa. We ur stik peepul. We ar smrt. Brushing my tooth this morning, it dawned on me that, like gingivitis, the root of sustainable agriculture lies just below the gumline. This strikes casual inspection from the list of effective tools we might use to sniff out unwanted decay, or potatoes.

While an entrenching tool is certainly useful, no such certainty exists when the time comes to poke holes in the half-baked specimen turning in a field of microscopic waves. Here, tradition speaks louder than words, which is where the humble fork comes in to play a quick game of Fiddlesticks before turning to the task at hand, which is poking holes in a half-baked caricature of sustainable agriculture. But you already knew that.

What you may not have known is how potato-farming ties in with my tooth.

 

10 comments:

  1. Re: the root of sustainable agriculture:

    http://oneletterwords.com/weblog/?id=8663

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm no longer sure if your graphics came first, or the Omegaword monologues. I have lost my underpinnings. What year is this? What's my mother's maiden name?

    ReplyDelete
  3. I know, right? But in this case, the Omegaword monologue came first, because the graphic doesn't appear until this coming March. (I never post new items into the past -- that would just be mischievous.)

    ReplyDelete
  4. My graphics are stupid. I hate my graphics.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Your graphics are stupe[n]d[ous].

    Oh, I just noticed that "My graphics are stupid" is an anagram of "A rump discharges pity" and "Is a grumpy dispatcher." (And now you know why it's taking me so long to read that 700-page novel I started last year.)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thank you. I always wanted to be a cartoonist, but wasn't encouraged.

    I share your grief. I'm having a devil of a time getting through this pamphlet (The Toastmaster's Guide to the Rump Roast) which is considerably less than 700 pages, but it challenges, and how.

    ReplyDelete
  7. The fellow on the left is quite animated...in a static sort of way.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Speaking of Tom's animated static, I encountered this quotation: "TV shows are the interruption to static's regular broadcasting" —Iorphanedbambi

    ReplyDelete
  9. Jeff, your mention of "the humble fork" reminded me of this bit of forgotten wisdom:

    http://oneletterwords.com/weblog/?id=8666

    ReplyDelete
  10. There. Static problem solved, and a fork for the right hand of the stage-left character.

    Love that quote, Craig. I've suspected as much and couldn't agree more. So many joyous hours spent examining the dancing dots on the screen at close range, to say nothing of the fascinating plot twists.

    And thanks for the humbling, forking, forgotten (but not gone) wisdom.

    ReplyDelete