Simple Diagnostic Techniques for Identifying Common Household Pressure Gradients

How many inches of mercury does it take to trip the light fantastic? When one door is closed, another is opened. When that door is closed, a window opens. Closing the window means an open cupboard, where the molds are kept. When I close the door but the light stays on, it means the switch has gone south, which is smart. I would do that, too, if someone offered me a ticket.

Opening a drawer doesn't do anything, so I may have been barking into the wrong henhouse all along. No wonder my ears won't pop.



  1. The one year anniversary of this blog post is just around the corner! (Yes, I do keep checking this blog for new entries.) (Yes, it's been a long ten months!) (Yes, I know that blogs are passé now.) (Yes, I myself post upwards of five times a day on multiple platforms as if to go out in a blaze of glory.) To quote from N. F. Simpson's play _If So, Then Yes_, "What it boils down to for the likes of you and me, who haven't the faintest idea how to write anything that more than three or four oddballs might conceivably want to read, is that we're never going to be competing on a level playing field. We're all the time up against people who sit there on the bestseller lists for no other reason than that, by some accident of birth or whatever, they happen, unlike you and me, to have been born with the 'knack.' ... And it's made even worse as far as you and I are concerned by well nigh total ineptitude in every other sphere as well. ... In fact I'm beginning to wonder whether it isn't time for those of us who haven't a clue how to do anything much except make water to stand up and be counted. ... Wear our incompetence with pride. ... There are a lot of us, Geoffrey. We're a force to be reckoned with. We /can/ make a difference."

  2. I don't know how to make water. I can make a cup, and a fuss, and I'm pretty good at making children cry, but water is over my head. I have a snorkel, but I didn’t make that.

    The right thing to make, of course, would be a "blog post," but I don't want to. All I want to do is roll my eyes, which comes easily for me.

    I hate water.

  3. I could never make a blog post stick without a good pounding, and the frost level in these parts is soooo deep; hammer broke. Water wants you back!

  4. Hey Tom, long time no e-see.

    If there's one thing I learned in shop class, it's that hammers are thicker than water. This is why Jack Frost is afraid of carpenters. If there are two things I learned in shop class, my handlers wouldn't allow me to admit it anyway, so what's the use?

    Stay warm just the same.